March 29, 2003

Andrew Yonkovich

by ;;;

    So the other day Red and I were sitting outside of EA drinking hot choclate and being EVIL and HATING EVERYTHING, because
that's all we really do. When we were approached by this fucking psychopath calling himself "Andrew Yonkovich".. This guy
approached us appearing to be nothing more than a metal loving drug addict, which was fine by me. All of the sudden he breaks into
this triad about how so and so is in league with the devil or god. He tells us that he and god are going to take over the world,
and how if we know anyone who is in league with the devil he wants us to tell him, becuase he's "gonna fucking kill them". He then
tells us about this Legion he's a part of, and how they're planning on kiddnapping a bunch of christians and torturing them. And
they're going to start a church right next to another church, where they will "sell drugs on one side, and have a detoxt centre on
the other"... This dipshit went on to quote some science fiction book like like it was scripture, and told us that he was an
"Oracle" He told us that he needs to find a leader of a church, because Satan is going to be imprisoned, and he wants to find a
young boy who will host Satan, or something. All the while Red and I, are thinking "this guy is a complete shit fuck". At some
point he was asking us about cults we knew about (we of course know about none) and he says something about "The Band of The Hand"
I tell him "I know a Band called The Hand" he seemed interested, so I told him "go look up Josiah Hughes, he'll be able to help you
out in your mission" .. a mission which was allegedly to save the devil from imprisonment, and spread the love of Jesus throughout
the world. Oh yea, I almsot forgot, he insisted that he was "pure" and that all he thought about was girls, and that he was a
virgin, even better reasons for him to hook up with Josiah. A little later he told us if we gave him help he would buy us a
PlayStation2. In addition he seemed to be the NUMBER ONE fan of just about any metal band that you asked him about. He also loved
2Pac, but not really, except he was carrying the cd around. Eventually me and Red told him we had to go and we left very quickly.
I was afraid he was going to follow us. Before we left he told us that he was a meth addict, and a liar. Which were the first
things out of his mouth that I believed that night.

  PS: the most revolting thing about Andrew Yonkovich, Oracle, Satanist, and Devout Christian extraordinaire... was little
disgusting white gooey things accumulating at the corners of his tech warrior mouth.

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